Where are you from? It’s a simple question….right? For the record, I know what the majority of people are inquiring about when they ask me this. It is usually a question that is referring to what race, nationality and/or ethnicity I am. By the way, did you know that race, nationality and ethnicity are different things?
Race: A group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution:
Nationality: The status of belonging to a particular nation by origin, birth, or naturalization:
Ethnicity: Ethnic character, background, or affiliation:
Today when I was at a local Korean restaurant(Asiana Garden), I had the bus boy interrupt me while I was eating and on my phone. He was apparently so curious that he asked me twice(I tried to ignore him the first time but he actually tapped me on the shoulder the second time. So I took off my headphones and tried to cut the conversation short so I could go back to enjoying my lunch.
Busboy: “Where you from?”
Me: “Korea”
Busboy: “Really?”(like I would lie?) “Korean…..Really?” Long Pause “You from Korea?” Another pause “You don’t look Korean, your face look Japanese” (We won’t even get into his speaking ‘grammar’)
Shortly after he made the comment that I don’t ‘look Korean’(what does that even mean?), I smiled as best as I could and put my headphones back on and tried to get back to lunch. Problem was, I was extremely embarrassed at this point and wanted to just leave.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to shake it off and answer people(like today’s busboy) as politely as possible. I learned early on I could make the situation humorous;
Person: “Where are you from?”
Me: (serious face) “Ohio.”
Person: “uhhhh…..”(insert long pause and a confused look on their face as I offer up no other answer)
And sometimes it goes further than that. I’ve met people over the years that will continue to go on and on with their knowledge of the Korean language and culture even after I’ve repeatedly said I don’t know much about Korea and don’t speak the language. And why would anyone feel like it was their place to lecture me on the importance of knowing my heritage? Shame on them! My parents didn’t force me to learn about the Korean culture, but they certainly offered! It was only recently that I have expressed an interest, and now I feel I can’t even go to a Korean restaurant to try the cuisine without feeling inadequate.
I have been told that it’s just because people are curious about me, but I guess I want to know, why? Why do they want (or feel entitled) to know? And does it make it ok to ask? I don’t go up to other people asking about their personal dynamic just because I’m curious. Why is this situation ok? And I don't think I'm overreacting because its not an issue that the majority of people have to deal with. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Check out this hilarious YouTube video….Maybe I should do this to the next person who asks. “Where are you from?”
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